Posts Tagged ‘authentic self’

One of my former bullies has died. There’s no other way to say it.

Remember Little Italy? He was one of the stars of my post on Catholic school bullies. Now, at the age of 43, he’s gone. I found out about his passing on Facebook; I also discovered that his viewing was a mere five or six miles from my office. Despite the convenience and slight desire to make my appearance, I decided not to go pay my respects.

Funerals are for the living. These functions give friends and family a last chance to say “goodbye” and perhaps gain some closure for their loss. I’m sure this was especially the case for the death of someone so relatively young. Given that, what business would I have going there? Having written about Little Italy in a less-than-flattering light, there’s no comfort I could or would want to provide his family.

I also didn’t go as a matter of integrity. Attending a viewing and faking my way through it for a guy I hardly knew and never liked would be a violation of my authentic self. I’m not going to refuse to turn a sinner into a saint just because they’ve died; this level has sheer phoniness always disgusted me and is simply not in my skill-set.

So Little Italy is gone and with him the explanation for why he wanted to do me grievous bodily harm on that sunny fall day in 1986. In the end, I can only guess that in his twisted state of mind, he saw an outsider threatening his friends and the opportunity to gain some instant street cred. Since most high-school bullying is based around reputation and social standing. I’m thinking this is the likely scenario.

So a guy who wanted to smash my face in so he could look good in front of his friends is now dead. That’s it… There’s no other way to say it.