Anyone who thinks they’re a domestic violence expert needs to spend two years with my ex.

The point I’m driving at is that the dynamics of domestic violence aren’t always as cut and dry as bad man in sleeveless T-shirt beats poor, defenseless woman. Yes, that happens; but so do instances where the woman is the initial aggressor.Before we delve into this, take a few minutes to watch this video:

Here’s what usually happens when the physical abuse/domestic violence is female-on-male: An argument ensues and the man gets attacked when he tries to walk away. (“Don’t you turn your back on me!”) Or the beating goes on and on until the man, often at wit’s end, grabs, pushes, or shoves the woman in order to prevent further beating.

Want to guess which one will face domestic violence charges if the police are called? Hint: If you have any doubts, consider the name of the current Federal law – The “Violence Against Women Act” or VAWA.

The social experiment conducted above is NOT the first of its kind. You can find a few other videos where this experiment has taken place and the results are nearly identical: Many men and women rush in to help the woman who’s being thrashed. When the man is being abused, few to no people bother to intervene.

In a previous experiment similar to this, passersby later were interviewed. The reporter asked why they did not do anything to help the man being beaten. The men and woman interviewed offered these generic responses:

1. She’s just a woman, she can’t really hurt him like a man could.
2. I didn’t want to get involved.
3. He should be able to handle it.
4. A woman wouldn’t hit a man unless he did something to deserve it.
5. He must have had it coming.

Ultimately, my point about this is rather direct: What you THINK you know about domestic violence is largely the creation of the feminist/women’s rights group. It is THEY who control the narrative on the topic. They’ve created the framework used to author VAWA, and they continue to push the narrative that “in the United States, 22%–35% of women who visit hospital emergency rooms do so because of domestic violence.” (Note: a TIME Magazine article boldly refutes this claim.)

This feminist domestic violence zeitgeist has found an unlikely ally in the police/prosecutors all across the country. These folks profit form the skyrocketing number of domestic violence arrests under the unquestionable holy of holies known as VAWA. The law practically demands men be arrested at the mere accusation of domestic violence. This keeps state and Federal tax dollars rolling in for women’s shelters, anger management programs and other various and sundry court-mandated shenanigans.

The truth is, women are nearly as likely to commit domestic violence against their partner as men. (Again, according to another TIME Magazine article on the subject.) Problem is, we as a society are largely unaware or unwilling to believe that the “fairer sex” is capable of such nastiness. Most of those willing to at least admit that women hit men take a rather blaze view towards the subject. (“He can’t take a little woman hitting him? What kind of man is he?) Meanwhile, the domestic violence arm of the criminal justice industry keeps pulling men into its clutches.

Which brings me back to women such as my ex…

About J.P. Ribner
J.P. Ribner is the author of Viking fantasy adventure series “The Berserker’s Saga.” Currently, the saga features two novels – “Legacy of the Bear” and “Prophecy of the Bear.” For more about his written work, check out his website.

  1. Stu says:

    “He should be able to handle it” Oh, really… There is nothing…..nothing the man can do that won’t get him branded the abuser. Even if you do nothing, and just be a human punching bag for as long as she likes…….the rule is this…..a man abuses a woman because he is a bastard….no other reason. A woman abuses a man because he’s a bastard……no other reason. It’s lose lose for men. End of story.

  2. gush gosh says:

    Ok, you talked and talked that you would talk about your ex…
    And didn’t talked about your ex.

  3. johnnyid says:

    One of the many subjects that isn’t talked about enough. I’ve been there and known plenty of other guys that have been too. One buddy was arrested and spent the night in jail after an argument with his wife. They’d been going back and forth for a while and he moved her away from the door (she was blocking it) so he could leave and cool off. Technically, any touch that isn’t consensual can be considered assault. Luckily for him, she declined to press charges. I’m sure other guys are less fortunate.

    • JP_Ribner says:

      How long ago did this happen? Because my understanding of VAWA is that once the police get involved, the state takes it over from there and presses charges whether the woman wants to or not…

      • johnnyid says:

        That was six or seven years ago. I’m sure the state could have prosecuted if they’d wanted to but the prosecutor had to decide whether it was provable in court and if it was worth it. With the wife not on board and no bruises or history of violence it makes sense that the prosecutor decided not to.

  4. JP_Ribner says:

    Good point. Prosecutors are political animals and rampant careerists. Even the biggest dullards among them know not to pick a fight they cannot win.

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